The Silent Suffering of Children of Asylum Seekers in the UK

Recently, I attended national conferences and several refugee community events where I had the opportunity to engage with asylum-seeking and refugee women. Through our conversations, they shared deeply personal stories about the challenges their children face—stories that highlight an urgent but often overlooked crisis. One mother described her teenage son’s shame in identifying as an asylum seeker, fearing judgment from his peers. Another spoke of her teens’ frustration and hopelessness because they cannot access higher education due to prohibitive international fees. Others recounted the impact of witnessing family violence, compounded by the instability and isolation of life in limbo. These conversations have stayed with me, inspiring this reflection on the unseen toll the UK’s asylum system takes on children. Beyond their immediate needs for safety and shelter, these young people face profound mental health challenges that demand our attention and action. The Emotional Toll of Parental Struggles Children of asylum seekers often carry the unspoken weight of their parents’ anxieties. Parents, restricted from working and uncertain about their future, grapple with stress and depression that inevitably affects their children. One mother shared how her teenage son hides his asylum status, afraid of being judged or pitied. “He doesn’t want his friends to know. He feels they’ll see him as less,” she explained. This internalised stigma isolates children, undermining their self-esteem and ability to integrate into their communities. The UK Trauma Council reports that children exposed to such chronic stress are at higher risk of developing anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues. The effects can last into adulthood, making early intervention crucial. However, many families struggle to access mental health services due to language barriers, cultural stigma, and systemic gaps. Barriers to Education and Opportunity For asylum-seeking teenagers, education is a beacon of hope, yet one that remains frustratingly out of reach. A mother at one event described her children’s anger and disillusionment. “My teens want to go to university, but as asylum seekers, they’re considered international students. We can’t afford the fees, and there are only a few scholarships for them.” This systemic exclusion leaves young asylum seekers trapped. Without opportunities to study or work, they face feelings of worthlessness and despair. According to Human Rights Watch, such barriers not only stifle personal ambition but also perpetuate cycles of poverty and marginalisation. As Nelson Mandela famously stated, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” Denying asylum-seeking youth this weapon limits their potential and our collective future. The Trauma of Witnessing Violence In some cases, children not only face displacement but also grow up in homes marked by instability and domestic violence. One woman shared how children witnessed their father abusing their mothers, a trauma that has left deep scars. “They act out at school or withdraw completely. It’s like they don’t know how to handle their emotions,” she said. The British Red Cross highlights how exposure to violence, compounded by the stress of displacement, leads to complex mental health challenges in children. These can include aggression, difficulties forming relationships, and an inability to regulate emotions. Creating safe and supportive environments is essential for breaking these cycles. Trauma-informed care and community-based support programs can help children process their experiences and rebuild trust. Systemic Delays and Mental Health The UK’s asylum process is notorious for its delays, with families often waiting years for decisions. These prolonged periods of uncertainty take a significant toll on mental health. A 2024 report by the Mental Health Foundation reveals that such limbo exacerbates depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress in both children and parents. Temporary housing is another source of strain. Human Rights Watch has documented cases of families living in cramped, substandard conditions for over a year. One mother described how her 14-year-old son became withdrawn, refusing to leave his room for days. These conditions violate basic human rights and further isolate children from education, healthcare, and community life. As António Guterres, UN Secretary-General, reminds us, “Refugees are not the problem; they are part of the solution.” Ensuring their well-being benefits not just them but society as a whole. Recommendations for Policy and Support Addressing the challenges faced by children of asylum seekers requires action at multiple levels: For Policymakers: Expedite asylum decisions by reducing backlogs. Reclassify asylum-seeking students as domestic applicants for tuition purposes. Ensure that trauma-informed policies guide all interactions with asylum-seeking families. For Healthcare and Schools/Colleges Providers: Increase access to culturally sensitive mental health services. Train professionals to recognise and respond to the unique needs of asylum-seeking children. For Refugee Advocates: Expand educational scholarships and mentorship programmes. Build community networks to support mental health and social integration. Closing Reflections The stories shared by the women I met are not isolated incidents but reflections of a broader systemic failure. Children of asylum seekers are growing up in a system that marginalizes their potential and undermines their well-being. Their silent suffering calls for urgent action. By addressing these challenges through compassionate policies and effective support systems, we can ensure that these young individuals thrive and contribute meaningfully to society. As Kofi Annan, former UN Secretary-General, said: “We may have different religions, different languages, different colored skin, but we all belong to one human race.” It’s time we act in accordance with this shared humanity.