Rebuilding Happiness Far From Home

"It’s not the place we’re in but the people we share our journey with that define the true essence of happiness."

As a woman who left her homeland in search of safety, I carry memories that feel like echoes of a life I can never fully return to. One of the memories that lingers most vividly is the time I spent with my family, the warmth of shared moments, the laughter that filled the air, and the love that felt so ordinary at the time. I remember how my parents would often say, “Stay a little longer with us.” Their words, spoken with love, seemed so simple back then. I would sit for a while, but my mind was always elsewhere. I was caught up in the demands of work, responsibilities, and the constant race to achieve more. I thought I was doing the right thing, prioritising success over these seemingly small moments. I didn’t realise then how precious those requests were how fleeting those moments would become. When you are forced to leave everything behind your family, your friends, your home you realise what truly mattered all along. “Stay a little longer.” It was never just about the time. It was about connection, love, and being present with the people who shaped you. The Pain of Separation Displacement comes with a pain that’s hard to describe. It’s not just about losing a place; it’s about losing the people who made that place feel like home. Every refugee and asylum seeker knows this ache, the longing for faces you may never see again, for the comfort of shared meals, for the familiarity of voices calling your name. This loneliness is well-documented. According to a study published by the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), 86% of refugee women report feelings of isolation, and longing for the social bonds they once had. For many of us, this ache becomes a part of who we are. I live it every day. I miss the small things gathering around a table with family, sharing laughter with friends, and knowing that I was surrounded by people who truly knew me. In their absence, I’ve come to understand how much those moments meant. Happiness Beyond Achievements In my old life, I thought happiness came from accomplishments. I chased success, believing it would secure my future and make my family proud. While those pursuits are important, I now see how they overshadowed the simple joys that brought real meaning to my life. Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once said, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” Looking back, I see that happiness wasn’t in the race for more, it was in the quiet moments with loved ones, the shared stories, the smiles exchanged across the room. Resilience and Rebuilding Connections Starting over in a new country is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Every day brings challenges: learning a new language, navigating unfamiliar systems, and trying to find a sense of belonging in a place that feels so different. But in this struggle, I’ve also found resilience. Even as I grieve what I’ve lost, I am discovering the strength to rebuild. I’ve found people who share pieces of my story, and who understand the weight of being far from home. Together, we’ve begun to create new bonds, and in those connections, I’ve found hope. I ask myself now: • How can I honour the lessons my old life taught me in this new chapter? • Who are the people I can build a sense of family with here? • How can I ensure that I don’t take these new relationships for granted, knowing how fleeting time can be? These questions guide me as I carve out a new sense of home. Finding Happiness Again To anyone who has been uprooted, let me say this: while the void left by what we’ve lost can never fully be filled, happiness can be rebuilt. It lives in the relationships we nurture, in the new memories we create, and in the strength we find within ourselves to keep going. Research supports this. According to Harvard’s 80-year-long Study of Adult Development, happiness and fulfilment are deeply tied to the quality of our relationships. As Robert Waldinger, the study’s director, explains: “Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.” These findings resonate deeply with me. They remind me that happiness isn’t tied to a specific place or achievement, it’s found in the people who stand beside us, in the moments we choose to be present with them. A Call to Pause and Cherish So, to anyone reading this, whether you are a refugee, an asylum seeker, or simply someone caught up in life’s demands—remember this: happiness is found in connection. Pause. Sit with the people you care about. Stay a little longer. Even as I build a new life far from home, I carry this wisdom with me. I carry the memories of my family, the lessons of my past, and the hope that I can create new tables to gather around, new conversations to share, and new moments of joy. This journey is not easy, but as women, we are fighters. We carry resilience in our hearts and strength in our souls. Let us never forget the power we hold to rebuild, to create love and connection wherever we are. ♥️ Note: This is not my story, but that of a woman I met, and it appears to be similer to mine and the stories of many other people in similar situations. References 1. UNHCR (2022). The Role of Women in Refugee Resettlement. 2. Waldinger, R. & Schulz, M. (2020). The Good Life: Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness. Harvard University. 3. Kierkegaard, S. (1843). Philosophical Fragments.